Three College Football Tweets U Don’t Want to See

 

College football fans often use Mobile Sports Report to improve game experiences by setting up their smart phones with the twitter accounts of recommended athletes, announcers and other information sources in advance of a game. The live updates you can get from Mobile Sports Report’s top Twitter follows bring fans closer to the game-day preparations and on-field experience than ever before. But there’s a downside to everything, even too much information

Here, then, are three imagined tweets you should hope you will never see about your team during the 2011 college football season:

 

Sid's Tattoo Parlor

Sid's Tattoo Parlor in Santa Ana, Calif. uses this image on its Twitter profile

“Check out No. 34’s new tattoo. It is on his right tricep. I did it. Come on in. I’ll do you too.” Local ink artists may be proud of their new work, and cannot be faulted for doing a little promotion, but judging from the off season’s Ohio State debacle, it is a sure sign your program is headed for scandal. Most likely tattoo parlor to send this tweet: Sid’s Tattoo Parlor, Santa Ana, Calif., about talented University of Southern California tailback D.J. Morgan.

“The unsettled quarterback situation adds a lot of intrigue.” Your team’s columnist is paid to be endlessly enthusiastic and optimistic, but this tweet tells the starter sucks and you are going to be looking at a jittery freshman by the time you get into the conference schedule. Most likely columnist to send this tweet: Columbia Missourian football beat writer Harry Plumer, speaking of the Blaine Gabbert-less Missouri Tigers, who are depending on sophomore James Franklin to call signals and have redshirt freshman Tyler Gabbert No. 2 on the depth chart.

“My privates hurt and I want a pony.” – If you see this tweet from one of your team’s defensive lineman at any time during practice week, or on game day before kickoff, you can be sure he will be neutralized for 60 minutes. Most likely player to send this tweet: Mike Golic Jr., Notre Dame, who tweets like the rich kid he is.

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